Senseful

Grasp the handle
Before it is gone
The days of many
Is soon to be found
Solitude and harmony
One in the same
Record the silence
Before it is gone
Like everything else
That has decided to move on

Disappear

Although expected
Shattered non the less
Chasing dreams of yesteryear
Is nothing but a timeless
Trial
Directionality of the lost
Begin a journey full
Laughter and tears
Not to be shared
Tomorrow's so for away from now
What will it bring
All unknown is fear

Sunset

Although the night is upon us
I feel the sunrise again
Yet they still stir in my head
These feelings of terror
Angst and unknown
Are to be expected
And yet they tear apart
The fibers of existence
And eternity's gaze
Is still staring
That day is not here.

Duration

Caress the ignorance of time
Follow the path of inquisitivity
Folded within the patient venue
Staring into to void
Grasping what is fictional invisionment
And breathing the fresh new lack of air.

Rewind to Now

Unless the verse needs to flow
Beyond the infinite afterglow
And into the voidless walk
To be gated by the memories of another day
Another way
Listen to the chords as they meet
Frequencies free flowing
Against the phantom sunrise
Released upon the vitality stage
Forever to be found
Another risen showcase
Buried alive amongst the waste
Cross over to the mentality
Yesterday has yet to be

Frost

Light fades into the room
Sorrow is gone before the dew
A spectrum of existence
Carved into the view
The company of another day
You might find
Is sitting under the under tree
Somewhere in your mind
Breathe in again
Time grows faster beyond your soul
Frosted with memories
That from yourself, you stole

Memory

Carry the weightless journey tight
Beyond the lacquer and liquor's court
Folded between the angry chair
Discover this challenge and fly
Horizon chasing the landscape
Until they meet again
The collision of regression
Casts a shadow on the wall
Forever chasing the running man
Until ravaged and broken
You find yourself alive

Chipping Away

Something inside
Finds another soul
One that is lost
Away from the road
Against the sunrise
We must travel again
Dreams of everlasting
Eternity's grin
Happiness abounds
Solitude surrounds
Hold on tight
This will be a bumpy ride
Down the road
Drowning in the rain
My very own thoughts
Are driving me insane

Mesmorizing

Wondrous fields of vision's gaze
Lunging toward a bright new existence
Planed along another's shelf
Where comes from this place
Morbid traces of lost memories
May I find the words
Fly into this night
To be shaded from the darkness
Until yesterday returns
And finally I can bind
This feeling inside
It is screaming so softly
I can hardly breathe
Continue now
The future is near

Ablaze

Dancing on the horizon's edge
Bursting with tangerine folds
Engulfing the sky
Wondrous melodies chase the morning dew away
As silence turns into the day
Smile again and you may find
Happiness in the sunrise
Today has yet to become dusk
Hold tight to yourself
Never let go
Don't get lost in the stare
For it may transform once more
Stay now
The moon wants to sing
Before it fades

Journey to the Center

Frantic arrangements of yesterday's past
Shuddering before the frosted glass
Cold and wet
Wrapped in warm memories
Chasing the string
One times six
In my grasp
Forever more
Tuning into reality
I seem to have found
My feet are no longer touching the ground

Mindful

Twilight shattered by the horizon's gaze
Tomorrow is looking bright
Still slightly out of reach
Yet pain seems dulled by its presence
Wondrous dreams of what may be
Maybe this time we will see
Forever is a long time to feel
Another one strums the rhythm
As the chorus begins to rise
Soloing no further
For we were meant to be
Until all fantasy
Becomes reality

Drenching the Pavement

Stranded by the side
Against the walking way
Where ever there be light
You will not find me
For in shadows I thrive
Feeding off the silence
Chasing a dream of years past
Strumming it's chorus again
Listen with me now
Cam you hear the pain
As it fades into the distance
Sunrise has brought a new day
Take in these moments
And hold on tight
Dream scape's calling again
Into the horizon we go

Falling from this desolation, I find there is a sunrise still to be seen. Life and love are attainable , and I want both

Follow me now into the void, be not afraid of the unkown forces driving the stake through my heart, as I can not be released in such a manor

Changes

Regardless of the situation
Life is ever changing
Our paths are not always easy
Still we must traverse
Grated by the trails
Forged right in our way
We must remain true
Or love may never find
Its way into this life
This world
This time

Slowly

Falling into it again
Wanting nothing less than everything
Chasing dreams and singing songs
Until everything that once was
Becomes again
Exploding smiles into the atmosphere
I wonder how long it will take me
To get here

Sliced, Not Diced

Let it tear the flesh away
Until there is nothing left
To press or to play
Eternity is gazing into the glass
Forged inside depths unknown
Tomorrow's yet to come
Memories cherishing
What is already there
Before the breeze
Into the sunset
Fall into the clouds

Climbing

Laughter and play
Unleashing the sunset's curve
Wondrous claims of existence beyond
Voided by nothing
Against the background like a painted tree
Swinging in the imaginary breeze
Solstice of delight
Happening with ease
Willing to climb without restraint
Dreaming again
Might not I find
That it is some where other than my mind that I belong
Cliffs of the sanity's peak
Will never undo fate

Unconscience

Rendered helpless by life's ever changing grasp
This whole world is turning away
From into this void we are thrust
No chance for anymore or less
Than what we find
Waiting there
Insanity's sound mind
Smiling with a crack
Dare we who look back
Remember the darkest of days

Against the Waves of the Tide

Chasing my head around the view of life's gaze has led me to believe that happiness is a selectively warm gun, with very few bullets.... Honestly, though, here I sit at age 31 starting all over again, no point in all that so we will just find a way to remain on this couch, and in this chair for the next 30 years or so until they haul me off to the loony bin or whatever they call it these days..... the boardroom on my head will convene again someday, but we have taken a sabbatical from life's pain to enjoy our own personal anguish...
THIS IN TURN WILL BE A GOOD THING, BECAUSE MONEY WILL CEASE TO EXIST FOR ME AS A PRIORITY.... ONLY MUSIC AND FOOD WILL REMAIN ON THAT LIST..... no more doctors, now more considerations of re-entering the USMC, no more thought of greater things..... just a little warcraft here and there, and my part-time job that just doesn't pay the bills..... this is sure to be one of the most difficult transitions in the history of my life, and yet I must take it in stride, as the other involved has been scared by my actions and words, and it is time for her to be free of me, I seem to be a curse to all who know me, and it is probably best if I could find a way to sever contact with the world in general.... or maybe just find a way out of this country, and into a new one to start over.... and since my words are always getting me into trouble... I should find a place that can not understand English and move there.....that way if my mind speaks before I am ready, no damage will be served along with the gibberish that is my thoughts.

Tomorrow is yet another day, and I may find that I have nothing left to offer this world.... or maybe I do..... but that point here isn't me at all, it is all about letting go of the chains that bind. Certainty may be found at the bottom of the bottle.... I just hope I don't start believing that again... as it has been almost 5 years since I drowned my fears and sorrows by losing myself in drunkenness....

Spinning a Top

Spiralling backwards into space I find
That it is not myself that I have in mind
Another has gotten away
From this against the broken day
Followed through the dark and dim
Will we ever be again
Silent words of caution then break free
Into the world must you be
Forever lost with my heart's beating gasp
You may never know or read these words
Still I will wait
Until the music fades

Sunday

Finding understanding within the spirals of existence is an amazing thing. Rare, but still it does happen occasionally...... sing a song and play along until the sunlight fades. Smile at the Cheshire Cat before he disappears again, and eat the blue mushroom, not the red one!
Follow the yellow brick road to the Dark Side of the Moon in hopes that the curtain isn't hiding a short man who could also be the owner of the Moulin Rouge.

Yet I digress ..... life is full of suprises and who know when one might be a good one.

If not, eat the poison apple and cease to be.... only existence is real, and reality can bite sometime. So where do we go from here? Who knows..... I certainly don't.

Struedel

Laying about the empty doorway I see the stare
Painless like a moth on a sunlit dew covered blade of grass
Until this recedes there will be nothing i can do
Revelations of the bullshit within
Is there nothing that remains sacred, or are we all just a part of this intergalactic fuck-fest where you are either losing your mind or your soul.... but no one single purpose does it seem to serve. Mindless zombies walking through the streets buying technology that will inevitable fail due to lack of power which we are using up all of the Earth's resources to create.

The sun will rise and set each day and yet we do nothing about the color of the tulips in our neighbor's yard..... and again I find that maybe, just maybe, we may find a day of peace...... I mean true peace where the bullshit ends and we don't have to hear our own thoughts chasing us away from our dreams...... for all we are is one in this big ass universe and who really knows how long we will remain here... just be sure if you are in the area to stop in and see my uncle Ted .... he loves visitors.

So plant your trees burn you Styrofoam, and see if they balance each other out..... better yet stop throwing your trash onto my planet.... and for the sake of all that is holy please don't eat the peanuts from the bowl at the bar... that's just too disgusting!

Bull Mother of Incomplacent Sobbing

Raging inside me now, I find nothing..... nothing but overwhelming emotions spinning out of control. I just spent almost a full hour watching as my poor kitty tried to pee, but he can't..... damn bladder stones, so off to the vet we go in the morning. But here is the bullshit that I face: I need to spend this paycheck on a new car or I will not have a way to and from anywhere.... so I will most likely have to let them kill my precious little friend, I will never get to hear him purr again..... I don't know why I get so attached to animals, but I do.... at this point I don't fucking care why, I just want the pain to end.

Death is a never ending cycle of the universe... but it is not supposed to be a decision, more like an event... one that has no rhyme or reason. I most likely won't be sleeping for awhile as I am about to ask someone to kill the only friend I talk to on a regular basis..... how fucking pathetic am I?

No sense is meant to be made from my thoughts anymore, just stress and agony. But where else would my music derive it's dark aura?

So here is to you Marti, I hope that tomorrow finds us in another existence.

ದೋ ನಾಟ್ ರೆಅದ್

Italian drenched in a swirling gate
Grated and graded
Odor's forgotten sense

Did anyone taste the creation off course, maybe after the third leprechaun has gone to sleep. Only then will the fire be soft enough for you to sneak through the shadows. And yet , you might find yourself falling into another somewhat nonsensical arrangement of jars... all filled with peanut butter to about three quarters of the way , and the rest of the way with some kind of spam-like substance. Dare you take a bite of the sandwich that is sitting on the table in front of you? Of course none of this is even happening , so you are going to take a bite.... in fact it appears that the entire thing is gone, now silence falls and spiders crawl again the walls are tumbling, "Green gravy files inside of electronic smiles" is all that you can seem to say..... seems that you may have become a bit of a local in your journey amidst the faeries.

I do so hope to someday meet the friends from that plane, where else could I make sense of myself? And who ordered the damn pizza? Maybe it is the hunger I seek as into this madness I creep and forgotten once. Wrecked solstice in my hands, shall we play again?

Must Remember

It has come to my attention that I may have just spent the last few years of memory in a stasis of on-going delusional depression.

Let's back up a bit... After quite a long run of inspirational journeys I found myself with my own band and living in a beautiful area with nature all around. Seemed like what you'd expect to find at the end of the rainbow. You know, happiness all around... music, friends, bonfires, and even a party or two!

One day I lost control of a door when slamming it in rage and there was no more guitar, no more music... it had faded away, into the clouds. So then it seems I dive into a fast moving stream, where the fish are smelly, and they all drive trucks.... but oh man the green that fell from the corporate sky! The thing about fast moving streams is that , eventually, you have to jump out or face the falls ahead! After a crash like that is is so very easy to assume that the agony inside is from the loss of the stream. When, in fact, I never dealt with the loss of my music.

So now I see, it not too old to be. For within existence, lies responsibility: to fly, to play, to sing, and to be.... for the universe has happened, only when it is allowed, to retrace these memories for us to enjoy.

That being said I now feel I truly understand. what has been holding me, making me doubt...now it is time to live my life!

Silent Snickering

Echoing within
Painted against the background
A masquerade of sorts
Becomes life's purposeful course
Changing and overflowing
Everything has gone pale
Beauty
Perception
Peace
All inside
Moments like these

-sjp