2013

well the apocalypse has been quite the adventure for me. This year has been up and down...emotionally draining, financially stressful, musically extraordinary, spiritually I have unlocked the voices within, and even let some of them speak freely without censor from myself. Now I fear that the torment I have created within myself and other has taken its tole and there is no retribution to be found. The reality of this chaos is that it had no reset button, the only option is to search for inner peace, for my center needs balance, and I do not have even the slightest bit of balance left in my cerebrum. Tear apart my skull and separate my mind from my body, let me die with no sense of mortality. My time in this world is coming to a close, or a new chapter is about to begin... of which, I am not certain. So whilst I discuss these things with the multitude of familiar voices that dwell within, I curiously wonder if there ever was a place in this universe for me. My dreams are all that drive me, once they fade or become unattainable.... it is devastation. Failure is not an option in my life. For failure defeats my drive, my self image is quite similar to that of a 1 legged imbecile. I fear that nothing can save the darkness from being consumed by the chaos that I am. Destruction is all that is to follow this moment. Let the year end as it must, for I am still breathing.... until that ceases to be the situation, I will continue striving to maintain the chaos that is me. I need seclusion from society, from myself even, if I am to survive this life.